I’m Maimee, Delivery and Digital Partner for Rising Vibe Ltd and Calling Out the Men. I have a need for inclusion.
Whatever is going on with my family, friends or work, I like to know about it and I like to feel included. I then like to choose whether or not I want to be involved with it (this feeds into my need for control, but we’ll stick with inclusion for now!).
I have a need to create an environment, which might facilitate this (but not meet it entirely) for other people too. I welcome people. I chat to strangers. I’m usually the first to approach someone looking lost on their own.
As my career develops and Rising Vibe has become more ingrained within me, I’ve figured out something crucial. When I find myself feeling low down on our Rising Vibrational scale, in anger or jealously, it’s because that need isn’t being met. The younger me would point fingers at my sister for hanging out with our other siblings without me. I’d get mad at work for not being involved in a meeting I thought for certain my expertise would have added value to. I’d feel isolated and unwanted in a room full of strangers.
The first time I did the needs exercise, I didn’t circle the world ‘inclusion.’ It felt too ‘needy’ and I like to think I’m quite independent. I had such a reaction to it for one reason, because it’s HUGE for me. I can recall countless times I’ve stayed in an unhelpful mindset, waiting to be asked out with my mates, or to speak at an event or whatever it might be, but I was doing absolutely nothing to take responsibility for that need. I watched a TED Talk a couple of years ago and this finally clicked.
The message was simple. ‘Take a seat at the table’.
As you read it out loud it sounds really simple, but it stuck with me and has been transformational in my life. Now when I walk into a room – as I did the first night on the Happy Start-up Summer Camp to have dinner with 150 strangers – I don’t wait for an invite. I don’t wait for someone to point to a seat, because why should I? Why should they? My head screams – TAKE A DAMN SEAT AT THE TABLE! (the DAMN part is very important and really gets me). At the summer camp I did just that and I met that need, as I do now, every time. Powerfully. Independently. Feeling high vibe.
It’s not always easy, but it’s a hell of a lot easier than sitting around resenting people who have zero responsibility for meeting your needs. So please, take some time to explore what your needs truly are. We all have them. It’s ok. Own them and figure out ways to get them met.
Don’t wait. Find a way to take a seat at the table – whatever that might mean for you.